All these times, I wondered, how and why is it that people can feel Him and even cry while the pastor is praying for them while I can't. On the last day of camp, it hit me. I had to admit that I am a sinner and mean it. I know that I'm a sinner and yet I did not do anything about it. I did not try to reach out to Him and He was seldom in the center of my life. All these years that I stopped going to church, I have drifted so far away from Him and I am so guilty of that. He has always been trying to make me feel true happiness and peace but yet I did not seek Him and now I realize, I need to surrender all of me, my sins, my thoughts, my burdens and let Him be the center of my life; steering my life into the life He wants me to lead.
Even when I started pouring out to Him, there was something in me that told me not to let it all out. That was pride. Then I told myself, just hand over everything to Him and He will make it all good for all his plans are higher than our plans and His plans is to prosper us and not to harm us. So, I let it all out. I started feeling happy, truly happy. It dawned upon me that I was not good enough because it's our human nature that we sin almost everyday. But we can be good enough through Him who gives us strength to resist all temptations and sins so that we can be purified.
It's so amazing how God works in all of us. It was so powerful to feel and sense His presence and everyone just crying out to Him and team members praying for each other. :')
I am so thankful of my church, my cell group and friends who have helped me to grow.
