i miss my friends; i miss knowing about their life, being a part of their life. we've come so far but we have also drifted really far apart and not being able to be ourselves when we're around each other.

and i keep flaring up over small things and i don't know why; i hate being angry. and it's always that he's with me all the time and so my anger bursts to him. what's worse is that i can't control my anger and so i'm sort of screwing this relationship up. i don't know what's wrong with me(as usual wtf) and i get so insecure so damn easily i hate myself so much for this and i just get paranoid and shit and I HATE IT and i'll just go all silent on him and act like there's nothing at all when actually I'M THINKING OF ALL THE GIRLS THAT ARE BETTER THAN ME AND HOW HE'D PICK THEM OVER ME

Snoozy saturday 💤

Aunties all carrying foldable umbrellas and i'm carrying an unfoldable umbrella and i'm feeling judged but it's okay i guess because i'm just going nick's house so we can cook together hehe yum yum

And i saw this obituaries page being trampled on at the bus stop so poor thing right imagine i die then people step on my face 😱 

I wanna be significant when i die, like i saved dunno how many lives and actually make a difference in the world. Ok la, not the world but maybe a difference in a country like singapore; maybe like i'll be the most hardworking nurse in singapore or something haha dreaming too big too soon

So we cooked one of our favourite food; mushroom soup heheh 🍲💕

The mushrooms were all smelling damn nice alr la hahah 

And tada our mushroom soups haha and i have no idea why they are of different colourssss

We had two batches of rosti!!! Hahahah greedy pigs but it tasted not bad la and it was our 2nd time cooking it alr hehe

My artsy photography hehe kidding

Anyway i wanna faster buy a sd card and bring my dslr out to take many nice pictures hehe

Hehe and i have probably two favourite moments today; sleeping in his arms haha and the second was playing monopoly with his family; it was so fun hehe ^^

Security

Recently, i've been thinking; is it wrong if i don't like kissing or that i'm just not very fond of kissing or that i don't feel anything when kissing?

I mean i do like it when he wants to kiss me. But i just feel that kissing doesn't give me security or actually make me feel loved. Hugs do. Like i will feel more loved when he says, "i miss your hug.", rather than "i miss kissing you.", kind of thing. 

And i don't want a very intimate relationship, like we have to kiss every time we meet; but i want a really cute relationship where we only crave for each other's smell and each other's hugs and just send random texts checking up on each other and just doing stupid stuffs together. I don't want to kiss and feel all sensual(or whatever the word is) because that isn't love to me. And kissing does not assure me in any way. 

That doesn't i don't love him. I love him to bits, i love his face, his stupid wangwang eyes, his smells, the way he smiles, the way he laughs. I love everything about him and there's really nothing i would want to change about him. Even if he pisses me off with his attitude, i'll learn to love that part of him because it's still him and love is all about accepting each other and not changing him/her into someone we want them to be.

And there's always this thing that girls worry about: other girls. 

I love you so much, i wanna cuddle you to sleep, hug and smell you all day and i never want to let you go. :") 

Hehe and ofcause must end off with my cute little babies *i still can't forget about the baby who just died and didn't move the moment he came out* huge sigh :"(

Penny University + Popping Puppies :)

hehehe there are 9 puppies here sigh i know i only have 8 now but the stillborn is still a life right :"(

hehe they are so cute rightttt and so is my boy la haha he so excited to see the pup and he alr has a fav which was my fav too sigh copycat 

oh and today we went to eat at penny's university and i was so extremely sad because the lunch ended and i really wanted to try the eggs benedict because i've been hearing that it's good sigh so we ended up with a mint pie and ice cream sandwich which is quite good also la hehe

(his toot toot face and my photography skills )

(omg wth la my legs look damn fat and everything is just ugh esp my posture sigh i suck)

hush blush

today i went hans for dinner with nicky boy hehe and it was only $11.80 for a meal like this; iced lemon tea, soup of the day and black pepper chicken chop :p

(a really candid shot of him walking hehe)

(he looks damn toot here la but we're apples from the same tree; we don't know how to pose. HAHA.)

(hehehe his photography skills not bad uh i kinda look like a fishmonger)

a few days ago, i just finished my (more than) friendship bracelet with him hehe different combinations but same colours and he's slow because he hasn't completed his one yet >(

this is really random but i just wanted to say how comfy this denim jeans felt; it felt damn soft and good omg hehehe such a good buy AHHHHHHH hahahahahaha although i haven't had the chance to try it yet but i'm excited alr heheheh :D

sigh, i've been feeling really weird these few days, like random thoughts here and there and it isn't a good thing at all.