the end is the start of a new beginning

today is the end of 2013 and i'm actually scared to recall what this year consists of because there's been so many laughters, so many tears, so much hurt. but if i don't look back, i won't learn from the past and become a better person. so here goes:

there's supposed to be more pictures of a and me but i'm not putting it here because i uploaded from my computer space and i've deleted all our pictures together. that pretty much sounds like a mean thing to do but i've got to move on and stop lingering on such stuffs and i'm so glad to say i'm over you ha ha putting in so much effort to love you just resulted in you leaving me because i broke a promise. but oh well, i'm happy to say it's alllllll over and i'm so happy with my new beginning.

so this year 2013 started with a and me catching fireworks together, and getting together after knowing each other for a year. there were meetups with the girls, well joe once only HA and there were meetups with pb and jerrold! also there was uss with jingyang, jingshen, jerrold, leon! then of course school was so much better with adri, wany, anis and norita :) and then came along this boy who managed to crawl into the walls of my heart and made me fall in 'like' again which is pretty weird because i actually lost trust in all the boys.

but he's different. his actions spoke louder than words at the right time and i can't be anymore thankful for that. like coming down just because i wasn't okay and got teary HAHA cute la. it's probably the first time someone wanted to be there everytime i'm sad. it's the first time someone told me i feel like something he wanted his whole life. and i just really enjoy spending time with him and everytime he has to leave, i die a liiiiiiittle inside.

i really hate HATE people leaving me. i'm scared they'll never come back. i'm afraid they'll stop loving me. but with all these doubts, i will still carry on loving that person til that happens. nobody how hurt i am, i'll still keep loving him and never let him go unless the day where he decides to leave me comes and i can't bear to stay.

all in all:

i just wanna thank everyone who has been in my life, for being there for me, being my friend(because i'm not exactly easy to be with). thank my family especially my big bro who would go all out to make sure i'm not sad. i haven't been the best friend or best sibling or best child but i will continue to try to be a better person for myself and those around me.

2013/ 15 December

can you spot meeee, HAHA i don't even look like i'm singing! but i wore a hat that had this two long braids thingy which was so cute HAHA. if you can't, i'm the 3rd from the right HEH

yesterday i had carolling and had much fun with the churchies even though i haven't gone back for soooo long. plus i went back for the christmas party which was really enjoyable :")

hehe and my little boy is going to japan tomorrowwwww and before he went home today, he gave me a hug and said he'll miss me HAHA and i missed him minutes after he left la (sad) so now it'll be 10 days without himmmm. we should have like taken a photo together la then i can see our picture when he's away but it'll be awkward if i ask to take a picture and he probably don't like taking pictures soooo :/

i have so many clothes i wanna buyyyy, but that means saying goodbye to moneyyyy and that sucks and i want to wear dresses more often butttt i scared i zaogeng ._. HAHA yeah it's the holidays now which means i'm soooo bored with nothing to do T.T but i've got my BTT on the 20th then flying off to maldives on the 21st...CAN'T WAIT WEEEE

wishes on a shooting star

HIIIIIII HEHEHEHE YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY ME AND NICK WAS LYING AT THE SLIDES AT MY PLAYGROUND AND WE SAW A FREAKING SHOOTING STARRRR! and i quickly made a wish omggggggg freaking cool laaaa! Like honestly it could be an ufo and definitely not a plane because there was no sound or anything! PLUS it was fast! (*shootingstar*) 

Hehe yayyyy i always love the playground moments and there is sometimes a breeze where we enjoy it for moments where i would feel lucky and him i don't know haha! Byebyeeeee! :)

i'm not worthy of this goodness

Sigh nick just bought me cheesecake all the way from orchard to my house and i couldn't even have the chance to meet him for a few minutes to chat with him because mummy wouldn't allow me to go out. So he came to my house to pass me this. I felt really insecure because i looked myself in the myself and i look bad. But he said i look comfy and not cui at all. Sigh. He really melts my heart and i just feel like crying :"( 

And this feeling really sucks like honestly because i am telling him things i don't usually tell people and i get frustrated with myself for saying my thoughts out. Like i utterly despise myself for feeling this way and i can't help feeling that anyone will get tired or irritated with me feeling this way. Ugh andrea...

hear

this is like a really pretty christmas tree laaaa, maybe because it's white so it looks more fairytalish and pretty *.* can't wait to visit more christmas trees in december weeee :D

this is when i went to changi beeeeachhhhhh and it was so quiet and windy and it was just nice! although i kind of forgot what we did there zzz #badmemorydrea

this lights are soooo pretty okay sorry i'm quite addicted to seeing lights because they're like so daaamn pretty but anyway this was in a condo and it's a really pretty condooo :D

there's nick hand xD HAHA i'm quite happy ah like i can check one item off my december to-do list! but i guess coffee isn't my cup of tea(no link HAHA) but i think i'll buy like hot chocolate next time to feel more christmasized! HEHE :")

hahahaha a daily selfie on a bus from dover all the way to bedok! and i was wearing like double hoodie because the whole day was totally cuddle weather like you just wanna sink in a blanket of warmness or take a warm shower and dry yourself with warm towel(WARM TOWELS ARE THE BEST <3) :"")

anywayyy yesterday was jerrold's birthday and today is kenneth's birthday and i wished them both happy birthday on WA and jerrold said it was sweet of me HAHAHA and kenneth ah i think he's a changed man leh like he talk abit sian/sad one or monotonous! HAHA still remember he wanted me to reserve my birthday for him but obviously didn't work out because after that i got attached to buffboy96 and we just stopped talking like that. hmmmm memories! but it's allllllll oval HAHA over oval

hi i haven't really talked about you. but hm, you're a really great company and i don't get bored of you la silly. i really like silence sometimes and i'm just a very lazy talker but that doesn't mean i'm bored of anything! if i'm bored i'll probably find ways to avoid going out with you! thanks for not judging me badly when i'm like too tired and go crazy a little(or a lot) HAHA i've shown you like 80% of my unglam side and you still don't find me weird and shit so thankyou :") and hmm my impression of you is like you're a good guy and a responsible one! you're a stupid guy who treats his friends too good that you get taken advantage of (thumbsdown for you) but i'll never take advantage of any of my friends so don't you worry child hahahaha. 

2013/ 3 December

when i get my own car along with my own freedom, i can imagine myself just driving around blasting(not too loud) music whenever i'm upset or just going on a roadtrip to somewhere i can hike in time to see the sunrise/sunset. that's the kind of therapy i need when i'm sad. for now, my therapy when i'm sad is just walking for hours just listening to music or crying till i'm left with no more tears.

i can imagine myself just with my other half in the car having heart to heart talks or even silence is enough. because like they say, as long as you're with someone you like, just being with them will make you happy.

hahahaha anyway i just feel like a typical US teen who puts her laptop on their laps and type their life out. HAHA weird ah because i'm a typical SG teen who should be whatsapping people nonstop like a typical teen now. THIS IS WEIRD BECAUSE i sound so mature! HAHA k andrea k.....

anyway nowadays i just feel sooo weirdly easily upset by little random things that happen in shows and even teared twice in a row a few days ago which is weird(zzz i'm overusing this word but there's no other word) because nothing emotional has been happening to me. like there isn't any drama or anyone insulting and shit so i think i should be pms-ing?

and i know i'm sad because i keep craving for waffle ice cream or like buffet food where i can gorge myself HAHA gorge is the wrong word right! it should beeee FLUSH HAHA like flushing food down my throat. okay i sound really psychotic! but whatEVAAARRRRR

i look really dumb here but i think i have like the flying hat kind of thing you know? :B


hehe i got an ootd which i look really step but everyone's stepping(?) so it's okay right? ahahaha self comfort.


AND THIS! LOUIE SAID I SENT A VIRUS TO HIS PHONE(meaning this picture cause it was a selfie in his phone HAHA) so mean uh he but i look okay here what! a happy virus xD

// i can't wait for christmas heheheheh