i know maybe yall never meant to make me feel this way but i do. i'm so sorry for being problematic. sorry...

hahaha this is my morning face, i do not look good with my whole face so here is half of my face! HAHAHA. anyway nowadays are sooo boring. hahaha. and i'm tempted to read 'The Fault In Our Stars' again, but i scared won't finish in time to lend to Adri on mon! :D haha. then again i have to do my DEar DEar DE hahahaha. ok sorry. i want mantou. ok. I WANT MANTOUUU but i'm running out of it sooonnzxz.

nowadays my attitude like crap cos i'm so fricking tired of everything like stuffs and exams and idk. SOrry! HAHA. and during the holidays idk if i should work or slack the wholeeee month. but i know i'm gonna EXERCISEEE. i need to sweat once in a while to destress and feel good about myself.

OKAY BYE-BYE :D
PS: the rain was nice. :D

s t r o n g

hello, PLEASE STALK ME NORITA TEO! PLEASE STALK ME AHAHAHAHAHA. Norita, please be strong for everyone. and i'm here for youhooo. i don't know what to do when you're sad but i try to not be sad too hahahha. and i really don't mind you ranting at me because it's really been a bad day and i understand! don't get frustated with things and remember your quoteee, "don't cry to sleep thinking of things you can't have, but instead cry to sleep thinking of the blessings you have." hahahahaha we both gave each other awkward hugs but hope you really felt my care HAHAHAHA. omg :"P BE HAPPY OKAY :D

this are all overdue pictures hahahahaha just to brighten up my little bloggie :D hehe. bloop bloop the sound so cute hahahahah. okay lah serious now hohoz.

i honestly don't know what to do, i need you to tell me what i should do. i don't know if i should do this or do that but at the same time feel that i did alot. so i guess, i'm not gonna do anything until i get instructions. because what if, i was the one trying to keep convos going all along and saying too much random stuff to keep it going on. i feel i'm doing too much of the holding on.

save me

Slowly disappear
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here
I can't stand by your side
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge

my decision is base on my assumption. i told you my assumption but you didn't bother to clarify it because it's probably true. so i decided that. and if you really prove my assumption right, i won't regret anything. i kept repeating since last night, this sucks. because it really does. i hate it so much. i never really felt this much hate for something in my life i guess.

pieces

this song makes my heart ache. i don't know why either. many things have happened. i'm tired. i have forgotten most things too. teared a few times. probably numb now. sorry.

bad luck

this is a story of a girl who always has bad luck. my korkor has been winning in blackjack all the way til i sat beside him where he lost twice in the row for the first time. then when i left him, he started winning again. hahahaha. maybe i absorb all their bad luck so that he can keep winning :p after he won 100+$ eh. hahaha. that's all i can remember for now. BYEEEEE :D

today was a super good day :D

one gets numb because he/she has been hurt by someone/something too much that the system stops to care. i don't remember some things anymore. they get out of my head very fast. and i mean it's at the back of my head, but it doesn't play on my mind anymore.



hahahaha this is my life storyyyy. because i'm so hard to be with, selfish, possessive, annoying and so many others.

Matthew 5:46-48
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

i'm gonna love everyone already, i don't care if they don't care about me or what. I'M GONNA LOVE THE WORLDDDD. hahahahaha.

numb.

i found out many things today. all i can say is thank you for being there for me always, i don't know how we're gonna be in future, but yeah thank you. because all i can assume for now, is i'm the bounceback like i expected myself to be. and i'm going to be fine with that because i have to be. and i know, we're gonna drift. i feel it. unless you make it alright. and on my part, pretend i don't know anything so i won't give you cold shoulders.

and also, i'm kinda glad for my sensitivity that i can feel you uncaring for me so i let go of caring for you too.

and i want to thank noritateonulita HAHA. NU LI TA HAHAHA. sorry norita teo hehe. thank you for always trying to cheer me up and for coming down to my area to find meeee :D hehe. not exactly for me lah but for your bells i think hahahaha. but terima kasihhh HEHE.

2.

i'm the kind that treats good friends more important than boyfriends and if i were ever to lose anyone, it would always be the same. they leave me, i do nothing about it but just keep memories of them in my head, think of them before i sleep, and miss them some day along the way. because i never really have the guts to text them that i miss them or those times or whatever. i just assume if they left me means they don't want to stick with me anymore and so, my heart will ofcourse ache, but all i can do is be okay(or pretend it's okay).

maybe i should do something like having the guts to tell them what i feel, but i guess it's just me. i don't like having to bother people who don't want to stick with me. like if they leave me, i should get the hint already and leave them alone. and i certainly won't force anyone to stick with me if they don't want to.

what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise