xx

today i almost wanted to give up but i know you are a great guy and i don't want to give you up. this is the first time i ever fought so hard in my life for someone i want. this feeling is exhausting but i guess if you still want to leave me, i guess i can say i tried my best and keep trying to look out for you, take care of you no matter what.

i think i have to thank the random stranger that you actually came down and i also thank you for trying to look for me. thank you for everything my dear :") i felt so upset letting you go home because i don't know when is the next time i'll ever get to be with you again. thankyou for giving me the hug when i asked for it. and taking out my specs so i could dry my tears on your shirt. thank you, kau beda dari jartu dari syurga. but you know i will try to be better for you, to improve on ways so i won't ever hurt you again. that's if you promise to never leave me, then i'll do those. because if you don't, once you leave me, i'm left with absolutely nothing, no comfort, no care, no love.

thank you for always being my lifebuoy, for times when i was suffering in the toilet, for times when i was sad.

but i wonder, are you sad like me? holding back the tears when you let me go? or have you never loved me as much as i did...