this was yesterday's gongcha and to me it's quite funny how they say happy new year when christmas isn't over yet HAHA anyway i spent like 10bux on drinks and only 1.70$ on food. i bought like mr. bean, gongcha and starbucks. i really should saaaaave :(


this picture is really random! hahahahaha but i just wanted to take a picture of my vans in case anything happen(lol sounds like my shoe got cancer or something HAHA) but it's for fun luh!

sigh anyway i was reaaaally blunt to nick uh like saying i don't trust boys and i really stereotype boys and sigh. i feel quite bad like ranting to him but at least i'm honest uh! stupid andrea :(

and i bought a new capppppppp HEHE sigh my second pic look abit weird alr but my eyes are shiny sooo... :D

real tired but i had a good day :) happydrea281113 HAHA sorry my face too cui alr haispie i need to stop feeling so damn insecure 

hahahahaha ohya i had like a fate moment with nick on monday eh like he was driving and he saw me boarding 26 and i saw his car in front of the bus! cool uh! and we said "unless like" at the same time HAHAHA we so cool B)

blackhole

i was home late yesterday because i was just hanging out at the playground with him. then daddy decides to call and got really angry that i was still out at 1:40am. i got so scared and teary today and yesterday night because i thought mummy and daddy were going to scold me today. but nothing happened.

i get so upset easily nowadays and that affects my appetite alot. it's like i have to keep eating and eating til i fall asleep and if i don't, i get recurring waves that crash these puny eyes of mine. 

this album is sooooo addictive weee, jon gave me his thumbdrive so that i could have more songs yayyyy. and i'm currently listening to matt cardle which is nice too :)

sigh, i really feel like i need to cry for really long. like for hours. then i wouldn't need to cry so many times. just one looooong one will do it. haha i just remembered i told myself to always cry at night so that i won't cry the next day. i don't remember if it worked though.

s.o.s

i'm so tired these few days. am i tired because i have so many thoughts or am i thinking too much that it makes me tired? and as usual, when i'm tired i get really tired of being happy and the side i've been trying to hide, shows. that sad side of me which i hate. i get teary when i think, sometimes when i read, mostly because i'm reminded of the past.

it's like i don't want to talk to anyone and just put on my earpiece and ignore the whole world. just because i'm scared of showing that sad side of me. i feel so pathetic and attention seeking whenever i'm sad. i hate it. and i hate replying people when i'm in this sad mood. i don't want them to know i have so many insecurities and scare them away. and in the worst case, they'll say i can't take jokes or maybe say i'm overly sensitive. ha ha.

i'm falling apart. really. i'm sorry. i'm scared i'll cry in front of anyone.

i push you away, yet i want you to stay.

my heart has been beating faster, i talk faster nowadays. i feel like i'm changing but i don't know whether it's for the better or worse. i can't find the words to say, the way i should say. is it because i'm not used to talking about those things or is it because i'm talking to him? anyway i feel really stupid. i'm been so brutally honest with him about almost everything. someone told me i'm too honest. i guess, for my own bad. oh and yesterday he told me i always roll my eyes and he thought he's boring. but omg i really didn't notice i roll my eyes at all. :(

i'm so scared of not being good enough, that they would rather go for someone cuter/prettier/awesomer and i don't know how to stop feeling that. i was told "if he likes you, he likes you" and something like why worry if he like others. ugh. i've got so many thoughts i can't write it down. but for now,

mood: heart broken

lol is heart broken even a mood

FLUSHED

I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE!!!!! :( this feeling sucks lah and i feel like i'm sort of driving him away and i don't wanna like lose this guy in a weird wayyy. and i feel like everything is going so faaaast like he says he wanna prove himself to me kind of thing but he barely knows me but he sort of know my life and my past but he doesn't know me. i feel like sooooo flustered and i keep waiting for his text and get all paranoid(?) i HATE MYSELF FEELING THIS WAY SIGH. i'm falling soooo much in 'like' with him :(((((( SINCE WHEN DID I BECOME THIS KIND OF ANDREA :(((((( THERE IS NO EMOTION THAT CAN DESCRIBE WHAT I'M FEELING UGH :(

AND HE'S THE SWEETEST PEA IN THE POD LAH like he tells me just the stuffs i wanna hear and omg he makes me go crazy, seriously. he said "the best cure is the care and concern of someone special" and i said no one takes care of me one! and he said "Don't say that I'll be there to take care of you *blusblushsmiley*" then i say you anyhow tell girls you take care of them one ahh and he said "Noooooo I don't! I only tell the ones I really wanna take care of *winkie*" SIGH TELL ME HOW NOT TO BE INSANELY HAPPY HAHAHAHA

and he didn't reply my text ah! BECAUSE HE DIDN'T RECEIVE IT HEHE but he started the convo again by asking if i wanna lunch tmr! HEHEHEHEHE <3 and he said "I today whole day emo sia thought you didn't reply me *sad hais face*"

ps; he drives me C R A Z Y