i'm so tired these few days. am i tired because i have so many thoughts or am i thinking too much that it makes me tired? and as usual, when i'm tired i get really tired of being happy and the side i've been trying to hide, shows. that sad side of me which i hate. i get teary when i think, sometimes when i read, mostly because i'm reminded of the past.
it's like i don't want to talk to anyone and just put on my earpiece and ignore the whole world. just because i'm scared of showing that sad side of me. i feel so pathetic and attention seeking whenever i'm sad. i hate it. and i hate replying people when i'm in this sad mood. i don't want them to know i have so many insecurities and scare them away. and in the worst case, they'll say i can't take jokes or maybe say i'm overly sensitive. ha ha.
i'm falling apart. really. i'm sorry. i'm scared i'll cry in front of anyone.
i push you away, yet i want you to stay.
