i really wanted you to be okay, but when as i was closer to the place, i was getting scared. for fear i don't know the right words to say, or not having the ability to make you feel better. and when we sat and all, i didn't even see you smile genuinely. i didn't even know what to do. and it seemed like you wanted to avoid me which made it even harder for me to comfort you or even give you a hug which i planned to give. because i felt you would need it. but time got by and, i failed. i feel so fucking useless for not being able to make you happy, for not knowing what to do. i'm so sorry, so so sorry :'( i tried so hard to hold back my tears at the table, on the train, at home. but i just couldn't hold in when someone asked me if i was okay. i'm sorry. i really feel like a stupid failure, i'm so so sorry :( i wish i could take away your sadness. sorry :(
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