it's like everyone wants to break me.

i don't know why i'm suddenly tired of smiling, like in the morning, i was happy to meet everyone. but i don't know when i started to be tired of smiling but i guess i've lost a bit of me cos norita said watermelon won't work out anymore. something i look forward to, won't work out. maybe it's because we've all changed, for better or for worse. or we just can't accept certain behaviours. or probably, we just can't click anymore. i don't know. perhaps the holidays were at a right time, for us to sort out our thoughts and fights and stuffs. but  the hard thing to believe is
things won't be the same.

and again, a part of me is broken again. because i found out that you actually ain't fine with me. i was partly happy that we're ok you know? i tried to delete the awkwardness between us by taking the first step. and you too wrote me the letter during camp, i was really really happy you know? happy cos we can be friends again. and actually part of the reason i don't wanna ask you out to solve things is because you're now close to many girls esp someone i don't particularly like. i don't want to be close, because i don't wanna get hurt. and i also feel that you've become more of a flirt so i didn't exactly want to talk to you more. i know you're probably calling me a bitch cos of many reasons. and no, it's not that i've forgotten about you, really. you're still (^(oo)^) on my phone because i hoped, things would be the same. but no, i think i'm the bitch in your life now and you still hate me, detest me. i don't know. i can only hope.
i'm sorry.