today ain't such a good day /: i went to church in the morning and didn't go in for service cos i was 'late' and i will only go in if i have like joe mel eunice at times. unless i'm early and no ones in the audi yet.

but today. they asked me to go in and i just couldn't bring myself to go in no matter how much i wana listen to the sermon. reason: scared. i don't know what i'm scared of. i rilly kinda hate my guts. but i guess today has made me realise this church isn't right for me i guess. the people don't really care about me. and i'm always usually alone and i know. they're gonna say, is they ask me alr but i don't wana go with them. infact. i'm always feeling like an extra and i know people are jugding me and saying i attention seeker ba /: haha. i feel so out of place there. so today after svc, i went home. and as usual no one realised so i made a final decision to quit this church. i ain't feeling good about this but. i made up my mind :)

you told me where i stand in your heart. but today. i really understood where i stand. you proven it to me :) i stand nowhere hahahhaha. wee :D shldnt have believed you from the start /: that one special day was just an excuse. it doesnt mean anything. neer will to you.

i'm really gonna miss like my friends there and i probably won't see them ever again. that'll probably make them happy anyway :) but don't worry, i won't forget about God :)

:'(

today had digital electronics and we went to the lab! super cooooool B) hahaha. i think i very lucky, i sit that seat de machine got human talking one. haha. but is like repeating same thing. then tcher say he teach 20years also never happen bfore :p haha. and only my machine got that lady voice! hahahahaha. sch's fun so far, xcept for waking up early :( teeheeeez. hahaha. my friends says my laughter is creepy only. hahahahaha. nvm. :D

life :) my hard disk isnt working anymore and all my data are inside. i have no one to blame but myself /: i lost everything now :'( haha. i have no guts to go in for svc alone. what the fuck is wrong with me. im chicken hearted :( haha. i have nothing good in me at all. can't make friends, can't keep friends. failure. today even forgot to bring home my shoebag and towel, stupid brain. all my friends are continuing to leave me out as usual and i'm still trying to get used to it and acting like i don't care. but i guess maybe God wants it to be a fresh start, no old friends and all. just new. i have to sleep and pray tmr i won't be ao goondo anymore. ugh. sorry gaiz. please be happy all :)

may the camel eat all your sadness and troubles away! :) goodknight :)

this sucks. the feeling of losing a dear friend. so silly of me to keep trying to keep the convo going only to realise the person doesn't rilly talk to you for you. but for the sake of having messages to reply to in the fone. i guess it was like that for him, and now you too. seeing that you don't bother explaining why you replied late like last time shows it le. i guess my life's just like that :) i have to do whatever you want me to do ba. i can't read your mind, i don't know what you want. so i will just assume what you want me to do would be better for you :) in poly, it would be rilly hard to find true friends ba. you wouldn't know who's being friends with you for the right reasons or not. but it's okay :) i will bury my troubles into the sand in the beach where the waves would carry it far away, i wouldn't be able to find it alr :) hehehe i'm happy le! thank God for blogs where you can type without being judged unlike fb. after typing what i feel, i feel so much better :D hehehe. YAYYYYY:D

it's not that everything's fine now. it's just i'm rilly good at acting. guess you don't me that well ba :) haha. i don't want to show anyone that i can't leave without them. i don't want to show anyone that i will be happier without them. i don't want to show anyone i care. just so that when anyone wants to leave me for somefriend or someone better, they won't need to care about me :) perhaps you think i'm selfish. and that's fine with me :) making myself feel this way helps me to not get hurt as much as i would showing i would care and still have anyone leaving me.:( haha. goodknight. i'm sorry for ranting at you :(

haha i thank God for so many things in my life, for eg. my bro and my coach! hahaha. they pulled strings for me to get into SP even thou sch alr started for SP. haha.

ytd i went for tp orientation cos i wasnt sure if i was in sp yet. so i just went lor. haha. i must say sorry to the boy who was doing the mass dance with me for leaving him with no girl partner hehe. but truth be told, he looks noce when he smiles :) haha. it was quite funny cos we didnt know the actions well so it was quite fun and funny :p both of us was like saying "open open close close, open open close" jist in case we cldnt rmb. haha. i like how we would turn around and say "rah" we had to look at our partners and say that so quite fannie :p

there was this malay random mentor who was standing in front of me leading cheers and all. then he started talking to me and blah. then he say im his gf all those crap. when he randomly said "want to be my girlfriend? ... did i just propose like that? ... i suck man" haha. i think he very poor thing :( i think he got low self esteem cos he said "he not handsome not smart." gahh :( then he anyhow find a marker which all mentors shld have and wrote on my arm his name hhahaha. not trying to say anything or show anything. but its quite nice to have someone play with you on the "first day of sch" where you feel so lost right? :)

TGIF :) goodknight!! :)

hallo. today i dont feel so good /: joanna said i changed. i'm different now. and she thinks that i don't care if we're friends anymore :'( so does he. i guess i don't like to show if i care. but ugh. everything i seem to do now is wrong. but i guess it's just that my good isn't good enough. just like the song by glee - get it right. like it says, everything i touch tumbles down, my best intentions always make a mess of things. i guess i'm not good enough ba. haha. then he keeps wanting to be strangers even thou i keep trying to avoid that. but he says 'love me too much that he can't be friends with me'. i guess trying doesn't help ba /: i reallyreally don't wanna lose any valuable friends of mine :( esp those i met in church, brothers/sisters in Christ :(

i'm sorry :(

hayy my little bloggie. haha. i think these few days i realised how i was trying to make my friends and myself happy all the time that i forgot to miss people. its like i suddenly miss my childhood, my friends and everyone close to me :( haha. that explains the not-happyness these few days. must be my hater cursing me to be unhappy ba. hahaha. nvm i will keep on smiling and spread God's joy. yayyyyy. goodknight!! :)

ps; i want a corgi! hehe. cute one ;)

hahahalow. today is so hotttt. the weather needs to chill and i shall sacrifice some icecubes. hahahaha. ohwell today i woke up so early and couldn't get back to sleep so i watched a movie, watch it. it's pretty scary :p hahaha. its a good show to you at least. but abit gore :(



hahaha and ytd i watched the one of the cutest christian movie and it's super cute. and im not giving any spoilers! heeheeeez.



as you all can infer, they have round cute eyes and oval noses hahahahaha.
super cute right!! hehehe.

hahahaa sorry i have to say this, iLOVETENNiS!! <3 hahaha. i played it ytd, so am i tmr! hahaha. actually not play. is training. and im gonna take it in poly too. weeeeeee :D babye.

omeee :D


his voice <3
the lyrics!!<3
<3 <3 8

andrea&apos;s ways to treat your girl right :p

one: you must always reassure her that she's the only one you like and make sure you won't like others.

two: don't lie to her. if she asks if another girl is prettier, say the TRUTH.
(but ofcos make sure you clarify you dont go for looks etc)

three: if she is hurt, never go to sleep without making sure she's fine. make sure she does not feel sad before she sleeps.

four: don't be afraid to tell others that she's your girl and don't let rumors affect your r/s.

five: respect her decisions. probly clarifying with her the reasons of her action can help you understand her decisions.

six: don't keep anything from her. if npt she will think she ain't doing her job as a girlfriend.

seven: have long talks on what both of you can improve on and probly tell her what you like to do or not with her :)

hahahaha. thats all i can think of now. maybe there will be a part two? but ohwell, this could be unreliable coa different boy/girl different perspective. but no harm trying :) goodknight :)