un

i think i'm a wallflower! hahahahaha.

okayyyy, i officially liked epi 175 cos it's so damn touching and yesss it made me tear 8'( haha. and on second thoughts, the smiley i've been using kinda look like ninja turtle righttttt 8) hahahahaa. 8) 8) okayyyy. and i realised i actually veryvery dao and not say very approachable. i thought i was just anti socialish but i'm just plain dao and clingy. or put it in a nice way, loyal 8) hahahaha YES I'M LOYAL 8D hahaha.

and suddenly today i feel so angsty like i feel like i'm always the one doing things for people but people never really do anything for me. but gr i'm usually not like that but idk man! maybe still on period that's why ah. i really dislike it when all the bad thoughts come back to me whenever my period comes, it's like so damn depressing and i feel so useless and inferior and feel like nothing else but shit. and that's probably why i never like to talk deepdeep about myself and get quite worked up when it comes to me. because all i ever realise when i look inside of me is nothing but a failure. i can't even explain why my inferiority brings tears to my eyes sometimes, it's so GR. and i remember when i was playing a match, i knew i had to keep saying "i can do it!" but i try and try and i know deep inside i just can't. but i keep saying i can because i don't want the people around me to know i'm feeling like shit. 8( hopefully this is the last day of my damn period.

yesssss, haha. i'm actually quite proud of myself, i sent like two texts to pikabro to make sure he's not sad. i usually just don't care but then there's this thing that i always feel which is to never let someone go to sleep unhappy. yeah.

yesterday, i prayed for a sermon that i could understand and relate to and i'm so happy that everytime i think i have nothing to pray for, i remember what i learnt in prayer week alr, (8 oh and thankfully today, i can understand the sermon and i've learnt to not judge people, actually not exactly that, but not judging a person's character but only the thing they've done. yeahhhh. and i'm so thankful of all the laughters we had today, i've honestly missed it, really! haha. and i still feel kinda awkward but haizzzzz. and the bad part is i told people i quit church ah, now i come back, later they critisize me 8( but hopefully they don't PLEASEEEE. hahaa.

AND I'M SO SAD AH. NO ONE PLAY DRAW SOMETHING WITH ME EXCEPT FELIX AND EUNICE 8( hahaha. 

This Is the Most Detailed Image of the Universe Ever Captured

NASA has just published the most detailed view of the Universe ever taken. It’s called the Extreme Deep Field—or XDF for short. It took ten years of Hubble Space Telescope photographs to make it and it shows some the oldest galaxies ever observed by humans, going 13.2 billion years back in time.

It’s a mindblowing, extremely humbling view. Not only for what it shows, but for what it doesn’t show. While this image contains about 5,500 galaxies, it only displays a tiny part of the sky, a ridiculously small slice of the Universe.

woah, just wow. *_*

i think this pic is just too comforting :")

today was nothing special and boring except for akikdo (: hahaa. i can't get over the fact i forget almost everything that's taught and i only can remember one vividly out of like 3 or 4 or 5 learnt. i'm damn goooon. hahaha. anyway i can't get over the fact that one boy looks like fed! i think it's the eyes and they're both skinny and so similar man! anyway i got to do some thingy with that fed lookalike senior and i don't know the exercise so in the end do awhile only kena chased away. HAHA. but the exercise we have to grab each others wrist and sit so close la haiz, always feel awkward one. akikdo always must have contact one, be it grabbing wrists or neck or whatever, it feels so awkward to me, but i'm getting used to it (: haha.

and yeah this photoset IS SO DAMN AWESOME LIKE FSFAC IBNEFIEWMFVW. HAHAHAHA. but i can't get it to be in the center, or rather too lazy ^^

  

and i finally get the gist of people not replying aaaaah. it's so unbearable! haha okay lah bearable. but very troubling ah. haiyoooooooooooooo.

so ytd, i was at church from midnight til 8+am and the prayer thing was awesomeish because i can pray for others and it makes me feel better. and if the prayer is granted, both the person and I will benefit, because i will know of His greatness and power (: haha. and then i slacked at home after breakfast with eunice and then went out again for another prayer session, heee this time got ethan and emma hahaahaha, they both so cuteeee! and i admire ethan so much because i saw him prayer at some stations and i felt sooooo WOW. haha yeah! then went for pek's birthday party with kor and blah. hahaha. i only remember the back part ah, where we all were reversal titee? hahaa. play til the booze come ah, then in the end got one cant walk properly and one just the whole face red, but i more awesome, i drink a cup of whiskey and a bottle of beer, and my face not red, but i just felt SLEEPYYY but 100% conscious :D hahahaha. YEAH, kinda awesome :D

and i stole some pics from fb! :p

more than half the people here, idk one man.

nic, pek, kor, me! :D


THIS IS RIO :D

hmm, i don't like this feeling at all, i never liked it. the feeling of not completing something. like i doing this thing halfway and never complete. I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL. but it's all thanks to you who dowan reply and aiyo, i think you got the wrong idea also la. and the thing is i told myself i really don't care about salvaging alr so i will not start alrrr. SO IT'S INCOMPLETE DAMN. acmomwormacsdf;

but it's okay, i was crazish on fri night alr, and anyhow talk ah, hope it never irritate anyone. hahahaha. and i'm happy i managed to make you smile (: i know alot of people also can laaaaa. but the feeling of me making someone i care about happy, YOU KNOWWWW. :D

and i don't even know if i should try anymore. but i guess i won't anymore. i guess i'll just lose everyone anyway. 

mood: not good.

puzzle pieces.

i think i've been thinking alot recently, i think i more wise alr ;) hahaha. but i've been thinking, some girls just like to be the 'stupid' one, and act like she dunno some things and thinks people will say she's cute and like her more. but to another group of people, people will actually think she's not cute and just think she's stupid. and i also have a guyfriend who is like a kid, and i don't like guys who act like kids while others may think he's cute so ya. just like how i thought all boys will go for like the prettiest one or the cutest one, but i keep thinking of that one girl i know who she's not the prettiest, not the cutest or what, but that one guy just loves her like she's the only girl in the world. so yea, i don't think all girls should strive to be the cutest, prettiest, funniest or any sort, just be who you areee (: hahaha. just like i won't go for the cutest, handsomest, funniest. i'll go for the one i've got the feel for :D and i'm trying to say some people just try too hard to be the cutest or whatever.

anddddd i decided not to work, cos i can't commit and my mummy tell me, better relax now than later work when you really have to. it's a blessing that i don't have to work so i better enjoy it. YUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO IN ONE JUST LIKE CATDOG YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

GIRAFFESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

hahahaha hm! ytd eunice came over to my house and we were supposed to think of dance moves for the little kids at her aunt's kindergarten but we kinda failed and ended making videos of us! hahahaha. and i know she sing much better than me lah /:

hahahaha this was when eunice went to toilet!!!! hahahahaha. okay i admit i was tireddddd. heh.

oh and today i went to dayspring with eunice! so many kids i wanna see again and saw! even jovin that we thot didn't come! hahahaha. timothy su just smiles like SOME CUTE BALLOON. hahahaha. and kaden asked me if i want to call his home phone! I GOT A DATE PEEPS :D :D haha. HM. AND YUSUKE! ahhhh, he's just cute, he's does that bugbunny thing all the time cos he think thats smiling! YUSOKEAI. HAHA. and samuel ah, SO quiettttttttt, but i still likeeee hehehe. AND TROY DAMN NOTTYYYYYYYYY. still say other ppl nottyyy, and i used force on him ah and he still can laugh. hahaha. and when he cried i just place that rectangle tissue paper over his face and let him see his wet triangular nose and he laughed ahhhh. HAHAHAHA. cute lah!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHA YESSSAAAH I TIRED CANNOT CONTROL ALR AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

everytime i think of how the people i used to be close with, can just replace me or forget me or unclose to me, i feel so insignificant. like, was i that easy to get over? not even as a boyfriend but as good friends. i was easy to forget eh? and because of people like you all who can just forget about me just like that, i can't help but feel insecure, which sucks.

and probably that's cos there's something wrong with my personality i guess? but i don't know what's wrong with me. i even rmb once when i forgot to buy your dinner, i ran all the way from church and back just to get you your dinner even thou you said it's okay. i was never enough. i get it.

and that's why i should probably have no friends, not get close to anyone but God right? and just like what the quote says,

"I didn't give up because i didn't care. I gave up because you didn't care."

yeah. remember that.

WOO WOO WOO

HIIIIIIIIII 

hahahaha hmm, i just wanted to blog about how i'm so naturally attracted to TAN GUYS! hahaha. and i usually fall for those fierce looking kinds ah /: haha. but what triggered this was i was on the bus ytd and saw this damn tan guy, dunno if he malay or tanned la. but i kept on taking secret glances at him without wanting to. haiyoyo. then i realised he looked so fierce ah, got the 'i want to kill the whole world' kind of face. BUT I LIKEEEEE :D ^^ hahaha. 

these few days i really very bored ah, mummy not happy with me working at uniqlo cos i must commit 20 hours even when sch start, then in the end she say work for aunty janice but aunty janice say hard for me to work cos i mondays cannot work heh, so i'm officially jobless :(

ANDDDDD to cure this boredness, i actually went to watch naruto man! hahaha. IT IS AWESOMEEEE :D  and i currently finished epi 50 hehehe. and up to now, i like Gara and Sai(idk his real name)! :D and i kinda like Sasuke Sausageee, haha keeding, i like Uchiha Sasukeee, i mean i don't like his hatred and all, but he's really cool and dao and woo! :D but THIS IS ALL FANTASIESSSSS SIGH :( 

hahaha you don't usually tweet those kind of stuffs but you like purposely tweet about the things i used to do, and even the person i used to have dinner with etc, you are doing the same, omg, like a copycat leh. HMPHHH. 

and youuuu, i don't want you anymoreee, i'm not gonna give you your card for your birthday GRRRR. but who cares, you don't care i know, so i will not care too.

hahaha and my crush never talk to me anymoreeee :( haha. let me live in self denial that he's very busy for his armad. which is in one weeks' time. i'm not a stalkerrrr, is my friend tell me one haiz.

anyway here's a song, it's sad, and the lyrics mean so much :'(

people are doing this on tumblr, day by day, but i shall do all at one go, since i wanna make my blog alive :p

1. Five ways to win my heart

• Be a gentlemen and respect all girls 
• Be a christian
• Don't flirttttt.
• Gotta be sporty, which means TAN :D
• If you win it, you win it (:

2. Something i feel strongly about
i believe in the one and only God i believe in, Jesus Christ (:
3. A book i love
i don't actually read books but i think i like the Bible :D
4. Bullet my whole day

• Went to PP
• Watch anime and drama

5. Things i want to say to an ex
i am sorry. and i truly want you as my buddy :(
6. My views on mainstream music
as long as i like the music, mainstream doesn't matter.
7. 5 pet peeves

• Attention seekers
• Feeling ugly
• Advertisements when i'm watch youtube or anime!
• Bad-smelling air aka smoke.
• Messes

8. What i ate today
i ate tom yum soup with rice and kfc and mac&cheese (:
9. How important i think education is
well, rather important since we have to find jobs.
10. Put my music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play
lullaby - joey moe, if i become a memory - tank(chinese), wake me up when september ends - greenday, beautiful - secrets in stereo, not a love song -ross lynch, what if - simple plan, enchanted - taylor swift, unpredictable - the icarus account, take me to the clouds - daniel schuhmacher, still - 98 degrees
11. Your family
my father, mother, two brothers and one maid (:
12. Five guys whom i find attractive 
my crush, niall horan, mario maurer, kao jirayu laongmanee, tan guys.
13. Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it
i feel fat esp my thighs, i feel insecure but i still wear shorts.
14. What i wore today
t-shirt and shorts.
15. My zodiac/horoscope and if i think it fits my personality
scorpio, it doesssssss amazingly. for some things laaa.
16. Something i always think 'what if...' about
what if i never broke up.
17. Something i'm proud of
my God, my family.
18. A problem that i have had
Sleeping
19. Five things i lust after
pretty face, skinny legs, everlasting happiness, mesmerizing eyes, photogenic
20. My fears
i am scared of losing people, scared of not being happy, not being good enough.
21. How you hope your future will be like
get married have kids.
22. Your academics
average.
23. Something that i miss
buddy and supergoodfriend :(
24. Five words/phrases that make me laugh
why are you laughing?
25. Something i'm currently worrying about
worrying if it's one sided.
26. Things i like or dislike about myself
almost everything, but i cant cos i'm fearfully and wonderfully made by God.
27. A quote i try to live by
do what makes you happy.
28. Somewhere i'd like to move to or visit
holland (:
29. Five weird things i like
smelling things, late night getaway, giraffes, fixing things, being stubborn
30. One thing you're excited for
badminton with mummy and idk who tmr haha.

PLEASE.

i currently feel so damn bad now, because i unfollowed quite a number of people that i followed who didn't follow me back. and i'm still gonna unfollow somemore cos i'm gonna give them a second chance to follow me back. hahaha. but haiyo, i mean like if i follow you, doesn't exactly mean i'm interested in your life leh, it's like since we were like schoolmates before, or we have spoken before then like just follow lor. but it also isn't fair to me if you don't follow me back. buttttt don't judge meeee :( i mean i at least deserve a follow back right :( i mean, put yourselves in my shoes before you decide your image of me unfollowing.


at night, especially nowadays when i seriously can't sleep til like 4+ or smth, i think of so damn many things. and i wondered what if i actually gave the relationship another try, i wonder if we'll be happier than we are now, or would it turn out the same way? and i think of my supergoodfriend, whether he has liked someone else already and ofcos think of my crush la. hahaha. i wonder why he never online, what he doing the whole day, why he never talk to me. hahaha crush is like that one right, don't know the person very well but wondering about every little thing he/she is doing. hahaha. but that's why it's also called a crush right? :p



seriously, if this is true, it's as cool as the sunglasses B) hahahaha. hmm i also wonder what will happen on my birthday, whether there will be surprises or i'm just gonna celebrate with my family, i have no plans on holding a party or whatever sort. i find it so... meaningless. it's like i don't even know if the people come to the party to socialise with each other or really come with the intention of celebrating my birthday. so i've decided that i will not hold any party or ask anyone to celebrate my birthday and i shall just keep mum and whoever that remembers(not from facebook), i'll love you. honestly, i will. i've learnt to cherish everyone that at least plans to keep me in their lives. and
I WILL KEEP YOU TOO.


don't you ever wonder how you look like to people? because i wonder soooo much. i wonder if you probly think i'm ugly, i'm average, i'm fat, i'm an attention seeker or any sort. but on the other hand of wondering, i'm so scared of knowing, afraid the way most people see me is what i've been thinking of myself, it's scary. and i also wonder what i look like to my buddy and my supergoodfriend, i don't know why you two keep getting stuck in my head when you both probly forgotten me. but yes, i wonder if i actually look like a disaster to you whenever you see me, or a buddy/supergoodfriend you really want to keep(probly impossible, you both don't even want to talk to me and that hurts fucking bad).


but nevertheless, i still love God, probly much more than last time. i've learnt to cherish, and love more. i've become more brave and i don't complain much anymore. and maybe that's because i'm always talking to God whenever i can, esp before i sleep, praying that 1.you won't be sian and be more happy, 2.you guys would continue to have determination and motivation to continue studying hard to go to the sch yall want, and let Him give you rest, when you are stressed. and ofcos i've been trying to be happy all these days, and i have to give myself a pat, i've been happy for nothing! seriously :D but only sometimes i just have nothing left to be happy about.

hmm, i'm being quite random taking images from my tumblr reblogged posts cos i wanna make long blogposts to read :p haha. SORRY IF I BORE YOU :(

LOVE.

Today is “Suicide Awareness Day” wear something yellow or write love on your wrist to show support of people you know that have attempted or succeeded in committing suicide.

today i woke up at 5 smth am, and i think i just woke up from a dream or something and took like manymany minutes to sleep back then had a reallyreally weird dream that woke me up cos i was in utter shockkkk. haha. and i know the last thing on my mind wasn't him but Jesus. so i couldn't have possibly dreamt of him. but i guess maybe God was trying to tell me something? haha. but actually i dunno what to do about this dream cos i dunno what it is telling me! haha.

and i'm actually very excited cos i just joined akikdo and gonna meet jasper and louie later! weeee, but i scared i stick to them like glue ah, cos i dunno anyone else but them ): but i think i'm alr very brave to ask if i could akikdo! :D :D :D

PS: WEAR YELLOW AND/OR WRITE LOVE ON YOUR WRISTS PLEASE. IT CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IF WE ALL DO IT TOGETHER (:

i'm backkkkk, hahahaha. i forgot what i learnt in akikdo within a few hours/minutes. tell me, aren't i forgetful and dumb?! hahaha. others also learn so fast, i like damn noob ugh. but it's okay, i'll keep trying to improve myself yea and one day i'll be black belt hehe. and i need to stop being paiseh man! i must brave up! actually when i'm not paiseh is when 1. i'm familiar with everyone or 1. i'm in my own world, like ignoring everyone but myself and my partner (:

goldkist @ east coast.

PLEASE LOOK VERY CAREFULLY, I CAUGHT A STAR ON CAMERA ^

hahahaha this is basically keith and ben trying to climb up the breakwater slope! heh.

the sun is finally out but i don't see it :(

coconut tree, i just thought it was camera good (:

we waiting for the sunrise yoooooz. hahahahha.

we were trying to sleep!

i look so horrible but memories ah! hahahaha.

where's the sun?! hahaha.

alright anyway, i'm just gonna talk about something i've been thinking for quite awhile which is the words, "used to". it's sad isn't it, when you tell someone that you used to be good/best/close friends. and you remember the memories you had with someone or probly regretting something you never did, like not putting enough effort to save the relationship you had together, or even not taking the initiative to catchup once you have new friends and think you want to move on. it hurts whenever i hear, "used to." i'm sure something could be done for it not to turn out this way.

KAO!

hahaha i cannot take it ah, in the show i just watched which he acted in, suckseed, his smile ah, cuteness over the top!!!! hahaha. anyway the show quite sad ah, and the last part i don't get it but hm, got him inside can alr hehe. anyway ytd i went for a run ah, very shiok heh :p hahaha. and nowadays i never sad alr i think ^^ hmm yeah, my life is this boringz yo. hahaha. but today i got tennis chalet ah, but i probly won't have many photos cos i ain't close to anyone but my bro! hahahaha.

NOOOOOOOOO

okayyyy, when i read this, my heart just died a little. and i googled the reasoning for this and it's cos light takes time to travel which means the star is a thousand light years away means it took thousand of years for the light of the star to reach us which is saddd :( haha. okay, my explanation not good, i knowwwwww. hahahaha.

okay, hahahaha i just wanted to show that i was extremely happy cos my crush talked me online woooo! so basically it's air of happiness coming out of my ears. HAHAHA.