SAD LAH.

i just feel so sad today and i don't know why, maybe cos i'm having my period hahahha. but what keeps me going is my crush. haha. i keep thinking of the little things he does and all but yeah. but it's so close to impossibleeee :( haha. nvm, why i feel sad ah? i dunno! but i know when i had the thought of losing someone i literally teared up. it's like i feel like i lost so many people and even my aunty who's my housekeeper since i was K2 is leaving me soon, in my month :( i rmb when mummy was talking this issue out, i was tearing like mad, at least i thought i won't be affected cos i just thought i won't be upset about her leaving us but i also didn't expect those tears ah. total teared for like an hour plus man :( okay! i not gaining sympathy lah :(

anyway, today i went back to church with joe they all and it was kinda nice talking about some things but the feel not there anymore ah. i don't feel any bond with anyone anymore. and i'm always left out ah. maybe cos i'm really a bad person :( and ah, i suddenly have no topic to talk about with anyone. even the one i never want to lose. but like no topic how ah? :( actually i will have alot of things to talk about but since i feel so alienated, i don't feel like talking to anyone anymore :(



and i know i'm very selfish but i like the people i never want to lose to just ask me out :( at least for a movie or catchup and i'll be contented, like honestly :( or even if you don't want to hangout with me or talk to me anymore, at least let me have the chance to thank you personally :(

i just did my daily routine today cos it's the first day of a new month and i will clear my inbox, and it hurts. honestly. it hurts when i know the messages i delete, it won't come from the same person anymore. it hurts when i know i probly won't receive a text from yall anymore or rather see you guys forever. it sucks. :'(