mess

i do wonder. because i realised for some guys that actually do get over girls so fast like it never happened. but i'm guessing for girls, we say we don't miss anything/anyone. but in fact, when we lie in bed at night, memories starts haunting us. we think about everything, we'll start reflecting, we start realizing that we miss something/someone, and what we could have done right. and unknowingly, we start tearing. just hiding under the blanket just so no one hears us. yes, we all know tears doesn't help anything, but we do it anyway, to relieve us of the pain we've been hiding behind all the laughs and smiles.

for guys that get over girls fast, we think, did we make it that easy for the boys to walk in and out of our lives. we wonder if what we've done actually made a difference to him, or was it all unappreciated and forgotten, the effort we put in is unknown. and we all actually have to put down our pride and tell whoever we miss that we miss them. or we will actually lose them. and don't we all want someone we like to once in a while tell us that they miss us? so, swallow your pride and tell them, don't miss the chance to say it now or you'll probably won't get to say it next time :)



ending with a big big smile! :) and i really wish that the people around me be happy, and not be upset :(

life

hahaha i actually woke up and a few minutes later, singing this song. i seriously don't know what i'm feeling. don't know what to feel either /: haha. i actually got unhappy thinking about something ytd but idk what. then today it's cos of my bro. :'(

i rmb people saying i'm heartless, and i really truly hope i could be that. so that i won't feel sad about anything at all. so that i can smile it thru everything and happily say, i'm fine and meaning it for the first time.

when he went overseas, i didn't miss him. so i thought he didn't mean anything to me. til he showed that fist to me, is when i really felt the pain, the tears rushing into my eyes, pretending i don't care in front of the people i was with. that was tough. and idk if they actually saw me, but i hope they didn't. but i felt they did. ugh, i tried being strong but for that night, i failed. just cos they were staying over. damnit. hhaha.

sigh

tomorrow school starts and i shall blog for what happened for the past few days. i have been having tennis trainings everyday xcept for sunday :) haha. and i can say i had fun, and it wasn't as bad as i expected it to be :) smiles :)

and the good thing is this week, the two boys stayed over at our house for a few days, and they were very funny and entertaining haha. i like them :) but my memory is bad so i only rmb playing tetris til 3/4 in the morning and then sleeping :p haha. and ofcos in between of everything, we talked alot and yea. hahahahaha. and another good thing is i actually have company to get me thru the late nights, to accompany me from those boring nights where i always have imsomnia. so ya, thank God :)

haha and ytd night was kinda the best i think. baby was like just playing music and we were just singing to it and ben was retarded, like a broken recorder repeating random words. haha and the song that baby plays actually has some very old songs and they say the songs you listen to tells you alot about the person, and i think he's quite a sentimental person? and since ben knows the song too, i guess he is too. i admire guys like that :") double smiles for them (^.^)/ \(^.^) hahahahaha. ohya, i also rmb how baby said he needs someone. hahahaha. :)

hahahaha. and baby actually has a very good memory! he memorised the chords very fast! hahahah. yeah and i had fun with them, but ugh, i feel like i annoyed/irritated them. cos i was quite noisy and all :( yeah, insecurities again. i feel so annoying, how? :(

and some friends. theres that one who used to like the photos, then she didn't anymore. i think she thinks i want to be popular with the likes? :( it's really disappointing to feel this way yknow? i feel like my friends don't know me at all.

and there's also you. i don't know if you're doing this on purpose. or you really forgot. but i shouldn't have expected anything anymore right? :)
and there's also you. 3 days was all it took for you to get over and like someone else. and i'm happy for you on that, but hey, you stopped smsing, i feel like a tool once again. but it's okay, in the end, i will become stronger right? :)



hahahaha i think this song is too cute :p

FF

i get so damn annoyed when i see people flirting. now i'm just sitting and hearing all the convos, on skype and at home. two other guys (tennis friends but closer to my korkor) are staying over cos their house are too far for them to always come over to the east side to train everyday, yes everyday, this week, incl sat and sun /:

haha ok, back to the flirting part. haha. the girl who has a boyfriend is always getting called by my korkor almost everyday cos he likes her. and then my korkor came out of the room and said to baby, say hi to her, cos i think she wanted to hear his voice or smth? (seemingly flirt to me). then my korkor gave her no. and he actually saved it?! okay. another flirt. haha. and it's not that i like anyone here or what, but it's just so fucking annoying to see people flirting. so bloody annoying. haha.

okay, so annoying aaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh. and now ryan is talking to baby about anime and ben is just sitting there quietly? (:o) hahahahaha. kay, shall end here cos i only wanted to blog about seriously fucking irritating flirts. hahahaha. things i dont like start with f today. such as, flirts! fuck those flirts srsly. haha.

seeseesee

haha actually God say cannot alter his word but i just think this pic is so cute :") like toys'r'us :p
hahahaha i actually very happy cos i finally went church after 2 mths + i think? haha. so like i finally learnt something about God again after so long, and it's the 3 C's! :) Character,Competence,Calling :) haha. and it's all about preparing ourselves when it's time :) hahaha.

so ya, ytd i had tennis in the monoon :p haha. and i think i too tired or high or smth, i kept laughing for no reason :p hehee. hope that didn't annoy anyone thou /: hahaha. yeah! then met jer at dhoby and to orchard, then walk around for something he wanted to see and we ate soup spoon! :D :D i very happy cos can see my verygoodfriend :) haha. then go church and kotup with joe,eunice. ahahaha. i feel so happy to see all of them again :) haha.

but sigh, ofcos who doesn't judge, this person who i treat as a almostgoodfriend, came to question me, and she just totally doubt me and all, i feel so judged and out of place. i came back for God, not for anything else, and didn't come this week cos that person went for camp or smth. but sigh, this is life right. and i thought this clique chat was alive and i was kinda happy but all we wanted is to catch a movie tgt, but we're all disagreeing on crap. 'not as nice'(zzzz), 'watch alr'(thats me! and another one.) so i am kinda /: now.

but nm! :) leon said he'll persuade his daddy to let him come tmr and he said i shld go too. but once again the clique, i have once again no confidence/no guts/awkard to go in for svc. so what am i to do? and for that friend i have, she'll judge me again right? seems like most of the people who i feel judge me most, make me feel angsty are girls. /:

BUT WE ALL MUST BE HAPPY :) I STARTED THIS DAY WEEF A SMILE, SO IT SHALL END WEEF A SMA-LLLL. :) afterall, God doesn't want to see us unhappy right? :) YA! BE HAPPY AND MOVE YOUR HEAD UP AND DOWN AND BE AWESOME B)  hahahhaha. goodknight :) 

noob

haha hai! (this is a greeting, not a sigh) haha. i like how this knit sweaters make me feel so warm, just by looking at the pics :p haha. i really want one myself, just a plain coloured one with a simple design like the pic above! haha. but idk where to buy! sad lifeeee. :p

hahahaha I WANT TO COMPLAIN :( haha. i am aching alllllll over, my thighs, my rib, my tammy, my waist! ahahah. and aches mean that my muscles are gonna get bigger, which means i'm gonna look even fatter /: haha. i am happy the way i am, i don't want to be bigger :( haha. okay enough.

and i utterly hate myself for not being good in tennis, not being able to keep rallies or do the drills right, which mean my partners will suffer with me which is so asdasdacasfa!!!! :( haha. and whats worse is that, everyone had 1 partner, i had two!!! which means i feel doubly guility :( :( then now i think one of them he walk weirdweird like me, which means he also aching cos of the punishment we did :( so i try harder so i can dont burden my partners anymore, but it's not working! it's like whatever i do, is not good enough :(
AND ihatemyself so much for this part, i dropped my korkor, when we doing this drill, i was supposed to hold his ankle and he would crawl! but i was too weak, i dropped his ankle and let him go, he fell flat on his face, fuckinghatemyself. i couldn't stop saying sorry and thosestupidwaterleftmyfuckingeyes (luckily for a few second only). /:

popthosebubbers.

it's funny how the things that used to make you smile/laugh make you cry now.
              how the things that used to make you cry make you smile/laugh now.
i still have those letters. i miss our friendship. now you're just drifting further away from me, and when you meet new girls, yeah, you'll forget me :) i just reread the letters and there was one quote you said: Don't be disappointed if God doesn't give you what you want, For He knows the best time for you to have it. and you said it was super inspirational for you, so i shall keep that quote with me to inspire me too :")

today's training ended much earlier than i thought! cos i thought i was training with korkor! hahahaha. and i am sooooo tired now. i could just fall asleep now! but i dowan to screw up my body clock :p hahaha. but i'm alr cramming at the thighs! :( so i look funny when i have to climb down the stairs >< haha. this guy in the girl's team said he like girls that's a little fatter than me. haha! okay, random!!!!! :)

haha when i grow up and have a girl and a boy, i wanna name them romeo and juliet, so someone out there who named their son and daughter the same, the son can marry juliet and the daughter and marry romeo!!! hahahaha. or winnie and pooh? or sonny and cher? or jasmine and aladdin? okay not aladdin. hahahaha. ahhh mickey and minnie! :p OKAY :D

kickyoass

this kid is too cute :") hahaha. today isn't the best of days but today is kinda happy for me :)
i dunno why either but heeeee :) good to smile right? hahahaha.


this is such an old song but i was reintroed to this song again, and it's so cuteeeee :"p
hmm today fed asked me what i think of jerrold and i said he's the best! hahahaha. okay weird.
i rmb that day went shopping with jer and leon, when we all left, leon asked me what i think of jer and if i liked him, now fed asking me the same! whatsssssssthisssssssssssssssssss. hahahhaha. sssssssss, imma snake man! hahahaha. :D and now i'm lost. fed say must give him a chance and he's a goodguy? haha. maybe he thinks i like him thats why? but i dont know myself either! ahahah.

we're young.

i like his voiceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
haha i just received news from claudia that there's no centralised training wohoooooooo. cos the po-lites will be postponed and blahblah. idk whats po-lite either :p hahahaha. anyway, this just shows that, 'everyday may not be good, but there's something good in everyday.' haha. YAY :)

today, go chinatown walkwalk to take pictures cos we had photography classes then we also went clarke quay! hahahaha. sounds quite fun right, but actually, it wan't much lo :p haha. but i was feeling so damn sleepy plus tummy feels damn weird /: haha.

i dunno why i feel so much heaviness in me, like no motivation do anything at all and just go with the flow no matter what i'm feeling. haha. but hey, maybe cos i've been trying to be happy for too long, i need a break? haha. so sorry :(

i'm so sorry, i know i suck /:

heyhappyday!

i lovelovelove this song <3 because it's such a happy song! :) i would actually appreciate it if you take the time to hear this song :)
haha hello everyone! i played tennis today, so i feel more carefree now woohoo!!!! :P
haha. and tmr, i predict it's gonna be another good day, cos it's friday!

THANKGODIT'SFRIDAY! :)

haha and i'm actually considering to go for Hair For Hope! hahaha. i actually don't mind being bald for the people having cancer, as long as they can feel comforted! :) i know i will get alot of critisism if i really be bald but hair is afterall an accessory to me. i don't need it :p haha. i know i probably wont look good cos i don't have pretty features and all. but ^^ i would actually go for it, if my mummy allows me to :) and like that, at least i know who really likes me, for my personality and not my looks(okay, i know i dont have any) HAHAA.
MAY THE GOOD LORD BLESS YOU ALL, MY LITTLE FRIENDS :)

kapucheeno

i lalalaike this song :p haha. okay, today met him and hm, wasn't as awkward as i thought it would be. i was supposed to be a tool for him, but his girl didn't show up so he thinks this trip is wasted, even thou he said main point is to ketchup! but whatever alr, i feel any nice things said to me is just plain sweet talk, and i don't want to trust a single soul alr, but i just realised i still trust my oldest friend in church :) but i just feel that we're so far apart now. i don't know what to feel anymore. i feel so lost. empty. and today we had to play matches and i just couldn't do it at all, i'm sucha failure. i'm a big fool, a failure who learns so damn slow. i try to be a good friend to all my goodfriends, but i'm even failing at that. i can't keep them, i can't start convos. yes, you're gonna say cos i don't take initiative and all. but hey, you're not even me, you can't say that, you don't know me. you don't know how much i'm hurting. but it's okay, i rmb one quote:

I may not know why, I may not understand, but I will lift my eyes, and trust this is Your plan.

okay, i actually feel muchmuch better now, reading my quotes, esp the Godly quotes :) i love God :)
hehe thank God i have a quote book, story book, zodiac book, all handwritten by me, info gathered from everywhere thru the internet :)

happyface

hey, i'm gonna smile like nobody's business no matter what. i'm not gonna let all the lies, sweet talks bring me down. even if i do, i won't show it to anyone. at least i'll try :)

okay, putting that aside, today i was like super happy cos i could see my longest friend in church, jerrold! maybe cos i missed him? hahahaha. okay, who wouldn't miss their very good friend? hahaha. today went shopping! haha. but the trip damn fail, leon bought his shirt, and i bought a dress that they chose for me, hahahahahaha. it's my first outdoor dress i ever bought! hehehe. then jerrold quite sad cos he didn't get anything! hahahaha. okay ya, that's my happy day, AND I WILL LET THIS HAPPY THING RULE OVER MY SAD THING!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T CARE! RAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR.

anyway, tmr he asked to meet up for lunch in sch cos he said he having some course in sp, okay, he's only sec 3, but he's taking forensics science. haha. okay, he said we're gonna catchup but, he lied to me so many times, i don't know if i can trust what he says anymore :( SHHHHHHHHHIT.

HAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPY! asfmjaknfawjkdnqwuifnuianguianuivmaskdmasd.
i am askomndjiqwnfwneghrngerugn happy!!!! wooohoooooooooooooooooooo! ...
goodmornight to everyone, may you be blessed with a happyface now and forever :)

trust

i can't seem to trust anyone anymore. i don't know who's telling the truth and who's not. one second you say you're telling the truth, another, you say you're kidding. and everytime someone says he's kidding, i don't know whether there is a teeny bit of truth in it. i don't know what to believe or who to trust. seems like everyone can't seem to be themselves anymore, to fit into society, to make people like you. i just want a society where everyone is just themselves, and i don't have to hesistate and think who is lying or who is not.

and sometimes when i believe someone, i'm afraid of knowing that it's not the truth. it just makes me hopeless again, that i can't trust that person. and when i'm digging out the truth, there are so many doubts, i don't even know what to believe anymore. maybe that's why i have a hard time trusting people. /:

they always say, you can't believe what you hear, only seeing is believing. but then again what we see may not be the truth. i can't seem to find real friends anymore. i don't know who's treating me nice now, and badmouthing me when i'm not around. i'm scared of what the world has become.

but, don't lose hope. there's always this one person we can trust without doubting, He is always there to listen to us, keeping us safe, but we fail to realise Him. He is our one and only God :)

i know some people like the atheist might ask, 'you can't even see Him, there's no proof He exists.' to me, that is faith. and the living proof that exists up to now is the Bible, this book might seem to you an ordinary book with just verses and stories. but in fact, people has been fighting to preserve this history, many have died trying to save this book. and why would people fight or rather die to save this book, it's because they believe God has performed miracles in their lives, protecting them, changing their lives. God is our Saviour, and you would do anything to repay your 'saviour' right? yeah, and that's why the people have actually died to save this book, for our Saviour, to repay our debts :)

i know you all think i'm bullshitting right, but i know God has actually performed many miracles in my life. maybe God has performed miracles for you too, but you just don't know yet. yall probably think i'm a strong christian and trying to psycho yall. but i;m just stating my point of view, and not trying to psycho anyone :)


for those who are already in Christ, YAY! :D God bless you alllllll ^^

lalalalalazy

hahaha this is super cute! hahahahaha. super funny also! hahahaha.

today im super slacky haha. suppose to go sch meet the girls but i forgot i was meeting joanna at dunno what time so i decided not to go. haha. then joanna say watch movie at 6+, so late right! hahaha. i very lazy so postpone to sunday hehe. imma lazy bum! :p


wiggle the fat fingers. hahahaa.
look at my nails. hahahahaha. my mamee do for me one, so i won't let anyone critisize it!!! >[
hehehe i love my mamee veryvery much :)

i'm gonna show you a scary picture!!!! get ready!!!! :)
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hahahahaa and ending off with this vampire like gif :p hahaa.
just realised the nails colour look like blood right! ^^
hahahaha i so scary :p
andrea the vampire :)

you're the peanut to my jelly.

i guess that's what they mean by appreciating what we have :)

hahaha today is a rather slack day, and the only thing that keeps me happy always, is this sport called tennis :) which i just played just now. haha. i kinda like all my friends there, even thou they are all younger than me. hahaha. and the girls there always say i cute, but i doubt it :) hahahaha. then raksha, she told me, 'i want to be like you when i grow up'. then i asked why, then she said, 'because you're cute.' hahahahaha. i think everyone will feel that happy spark inside of you when someone treats you like a role model bcos of something you have. :) haha.


this picture is soooooo cute! and it looks like a kid drew it, which makes it even cuter :") but idk why the link at the bottom so mean!!!

haha. as we are growing old, we always want to be a kid again, cos we all feel that we don't have to care about society, the way we dress. we all want to be carefree like a kid, no heartbreaks, the bouncing castle, enid blyton storybooks. but we haven't realised that being our own age is good enough, like we get to enjoy our freedom, being able to take care of ourselves, we get to hangout with our friends, talking on the fone til late hours.

and most of all, to me, the most important part of growing up is the greater ability to be able to appreciate my parents, being able to earn money and slowly payback what they have given to us, the love they provided us. taking care of us when we were sick, giving us daily allowance, getting angry cos we were doing the wrong things. the story you're gonna read, is the very story that changed my life when i was younger.

MOTHER’S LOVE
A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: $.50
Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $.25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
For getting a good report card: $5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00
Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he’d written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me:
No Charge
For all the nights that I’ve sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you:
No Charge
For all the trying times, and all the tears that you’ve caused through the years:
No Charge
For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead:
No Charge
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose:
No Charge
Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is:
No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, “Mom, I sure do love you.” And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: “PAID IN FULL”.

You will never know your parents worth till you become a parent
Be a giver not an acquirer, especially with your parents. there is a lot to give, besides money.
BECAUSE MONEY IS THE WORST WAY OF MEASURING HAPPINESS ♥

haha sorry for this, but i just read something so sweet and i actually feel like a reading a book for the rarest time, thanks to a few lines i read in tumblr, 'the perks of being a wallflower' woooo. and this kinda made me melt, :")

“I want you to make sure that the first person you kiss loves you. Okay?”
“Okay.” She was crying harder now. And I was, too, because when I hear something like that I just can’t help it.
“I just want to make sure of that. Okay?”
“Okay.”
And she kissed me. It was the kind of kiss that I could never tell my friends about out loud. It was the kind of kiss that made me know that I was never so happy in my whole life.
- Perks of Being a Wallflower; Stephen Chbosky