life

hahaha i actually woke up and a few minutes later, singing this song. i seriously don't know what i'm feeling. don't know what to feel either /: haha. i actually got unhappy thinking about something ytd but idk what. then today it's cos of my bro. :'(

i rmb people saying i'm heartless, and i really truly hope i could be that. so that i won't feel sad about anything at all. so that i can smile it thru everything and happily say, i'm fine and meaning it for the first time.

when he went overseas, i didn't miss him. so i thought he didn't mean anything to me. til he showed that fist to me, is when i really felt the pain, the tears rushing into my eyes, pretending i don't care in front of the people i was with. that was tough. and idk if they actually saw me, but i hope they didn't. but i felt they did. ugh, i tried being strong but for that night, i failed. just cos they were staying over. damnit. hhaha.